Navigating Transitions With Your Child: Why They're Hard—and How to Make Them Easier

If bedtime feels like a three-act drama every single night, you're not alone. Transitions—leaving the playground, turning off Bluey, getting out the door for school—are the universal parenting pain point. The moment you say "it's time to go," chaos ensues.

But here's the good news: transitions don't have to be a power struggle. With a few smart strategies (and a healthy dose of patience), you can turn these flashpoints into something actually manageable. Maybe even smooth. I know, I know—sounds too good to be true. But stick with me.

Why Transitions Feel So Big for Kids

Let's start with the why, because understanding this will save you from taking the tantrum personally.

Your child's brain is still building the executive function skills you use every day to shift gears, pause what you're doing, and plan for what's next. When a transition comes out of nowhere, it's not just annoying—it's genuinely jarring. Their little brains are wired for predictability, and you just pulled the rug out.

Translation: when your four-year-old has a tantrum because you said it's time to leave ballet class, it's not defiance. It's overwhelming. They're not being difficult; the shift is actually difficult.

Understanding this helps you respond with compassion instead of frustration. And trust me, that shift in your own mindset? Game-changer.

Practical Strategies to Ease Transitions

These tools work best when you're consistent and calm. Pick one, try it for a week, and see what clicks for your kid.

1. Give a Heads-Up (and Actually Follow Through)

The classic 5-minute warning isn't just something your mom made up—it works.

"We're leaving for ballet class in five minutes." "In five minutes, it's time to turn off the TV and start getting ready for bed." "Five more minutes at the playground, then we're heading to the car."

Why it works: it mentally prepares your child for the shift. No one likes being yanked out of something fun with zero warning—not you, not them, not anyone.

The catch? You have to follow through. If "five minutes" turns into ten… and then fifteen… your kid learns the boundary is negotiable. And next time? The tantrum will be worse because they know if they push, you might cave.

But what if you already do the 5-minute warning and it still isn't working for you? Fair question. That's where layering in the other strategies comes in—especially choices and predictable cues. One tool alone won't always cut it, but a combination? That's gold.

2. Offer Small, Meaningful Choices

Kids crave control. (Shocking, I know.) So give them some—within your boundary.

For bedtime: "Do you want to wear the Bluey pajamas or the Mickey Mouse pajamas?"

For school: "Should we walk to the car or hop like bunnies?"

For leaving ballet: "Do you want to bring your sticker book or your stuffed animal in the car?"

It's still your rule. But now they've got ownership within it. And that little bit of agency? It makes a massive difference.

3. Create a Predictable Cue or Routine

Kids respond beautifully to signals. Think of it like a mental "get ready" alarm.

Try:

• A transition song ("Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere…" — you know the one)
• A visual timer they can watch count down—at Poppins, we're huge fans of sand timers for little ones who can't tell time yet
• A consistent phrase: "Ten second countdown until we leave the park!" or "Last call for bedtime!"

These cues make transitions feel expected instead of sudden. Especially helpful for kids who thrive on structure (read: most of them).

For bedtime, this might look like: bath → pajamas → books → lights out. Same order, every night. Keep it to no more than five steps so everyone can actually remember it. For school mornings, maybe it's: breakfast → get dressed → brush teeth → shoes on. Predictable = manageable.

4. Celebrate the Wins, Even the Tiny Ones

Positive reinforcement isn't just nice—it's neurologically powerful.

"Wow, you turned off the TV so calmly when I asked. I noticed that!" "You got in the car without any fuss after ballet—you did an excellent job!" "Bedtime went so smoothly tonight. You really listened when I gave the five-minute warning."

When kids feel successful, they want to repeat it. You're literally building the neural pathway for smooth transitions, one "good job" at a time.

A Word From the Expert

"Transitions are hard because they require kids to stop doing something they love and shift to something new—often something they'd rather not do," says Kari Cravalho, a Poppins Parent Coach. "The key is predictability. When children know what's coming and feel like they have some say in how it happens, their brains can handle the change so much better. It's not about perfection; it's about consistency."

When Transitions Go Sideways (Because Nothing Is Perfect)

Even with all the strategies in the world, some transitions will still be rough. And that's okay. Here's what to do when things don't go as planned:

Stay calm. Your calm is contagious—and so is your stress. Take a breath. Tell yourself: This transition will eventually end. This is just a moment in time, and the stress will pass.

Know when to abort. Sometimes you need to cut your losses for your own sanity. If things escalate beyond repair, it's okay to regroup and try again later (when possible). But use this as a last resort. If you keep moving the boundary, you'll never have control.

Address it later, not in the moment. If a transition went particularly poorly, circle back the next day when everyone is calm. Talk about what you'd like to see next time. Remind them about the warnings, the routine, the choices. Keep it simple and forward-focused: "Tomorrow when it's time to leave ballet, I'll give you a five-minute warning. When you hear that, it means it's time to start wrapping up, okay?"

What to Remember on the Hard Days

You're teaching a lifelong skill here—one moment, one transition at a time.

Your consistency matters more than your perfection. Your calm matters more than getting it "right" every time. And when you do find something that works? Lean into it. Celebrate it. Use it again tomorrow.

Transitions don't have to be battles. With a little prep, a lot of patience, and some strategic choices, they can become smoother—even opportunities for connection.

Try one strategy this week and see what happens. And if it doesn't work? Try another. Because the beauty of parenting isn't perfection—it's progress.

Your Poppins Parent Coaches are here to support you. Don't go at this alone. We give you tips and tricks and work with you through trial and error. Every family is different, and we'll work with you to find your solution. Everyone gets a dedicated parent coach who can help you with your biggest concerns. We're here for you.